I Cannot Deny Myself

A few years ago a great friend of mine told me that he was convinced the way to live life was to live in a manner that he approached situations saying one thing: "have no regrets."  He was ultimately saying that if he ever wondered whether he should do something bold, something outrageous because his heart seemed to compel him to do so, he would do it.  That became my mantra in aspects of my life (though believe me I have by no means perfected such).  It was the cry of my heart that caused me to pursue my wife years ago.  I had to face the reality that it would be uncomfortable to call her, but I couldn't deny myself.  I had to face the reality that she may not reciprocate my affinity for her, but I couldn't deny myself.  I had to face the reality that it would be exposing my hearts, my pains, my doubts, my fears, but I couldn't deny myself.  Why?  Because if I was unwilling to take even a first step, there would be no unity, no shared joy with her, no marriage, no kids.  And my life remains a testimony that the joys I experience with my wife and family were the very pursuit after which I ultimately would not deny myself. 

And so too with Christ.  My aim to plant a church is not birthed out of a desire to make a name for myself.  It is not birthed out of a professional pursuit.  It is not birthed out of anything other than my deep burning desire to KNOW CHRIST.  In my pursuit of Christ He has stirred my heart (called me) to plant a church.  If I were to bypass this opportunity, I'd miss out on the greater, deeper knowledge and experience of HIM.  And HE is all I want.  HE is all I want anyone I am ever given the opportunity to minister to know.  I don't for a moment know just what Redemption Church will look like in 7 days, 7 weeks, 7 months, or 7 years (if indeed it lasts so long), but I will not deny myself the opportunity to experience and know Christ so deeply through this unto which He has called me.  I'd be foolish to pass on this opportunity.