Nobody Believes Me

I am a broken record.  And the revolving of this record on the turn-table of life plays one tune: the Supremacy of Jesus.  I marvel again and again and again at the brilliance of Jesus, with the slight window through which I have been able to look and gain but glimpses of Him.  And still I marvel.  He is more brilliant and bright-shining than I ever knew.  

In one of our recent gatherings on Sunday night at Redemption Church we had the perfect storm.  As a result fewer people showed up than normal.  It was a series of reasons.  And not that we have this massive number of people.  It is easy for a pastor to get down over the lack of attendance, no matter what the cause.  But I did something on that Sunday that I probably wouldn't have done in recent years: I ADORED JESUS!  I don't say this to boast of myself, but rather to speak of the focus that I need to have.  The reality is in previous years, and settings my focus would have otherwise been, "Oh boy, we are short.  There aren't many people here."  Indeed, it is rather easy to make the experience of gathering together, or church, something it is not.  

I've been in settings where thousands show up.  I have been the leader as well as participant at church gatherings where I was one of many.  And most times, if not all times, my focus was so much horizontal.  My focus was so much on who else was there and what I could physically see.  And without realizing it, these contexts have left an impression on my heart and mind that the measure of a gathering as the church is to be determined by who is there.  

But on that recent Sunday I worshiped not in light of who was there that I could see.  I worshiped in light of WHO WAS THERE that neither I, nor anyone else could physically see.  And I discovered again, that it is this Jesus who is ever the longing and most necessary pursuit of my heart.  I discovered how freeing it was to make HIM my focus, not all that my physical eyes and senses could engage in.  

My point: I see ever more the need to gather together with people, at this event we simply all have come to call "church" solely to MAKE MUCH OF JESUS.  And in doing so I found that He meets me that way.  Ever will I be disappointed in people, but not Him.  Ever will I be discouraged by what I see, but not by Him who through the eye of faith I really CAN SEE.  Ever will I be distracted by what I can look upon around me, but not Him.  HE will direct my focus only further into His glory.  And so again, I say, Jesus is my focus.  In my solidarity, or when there are many around, or few around.  It doesn't matter.  Jesus is the focus of all I am and all I do. 

But I know people don't really believe me.  They continue to ask, "How is Redemption Church?"  To which I say, "Great, because Jesus is among us.  Jesus shows up."  Many of them walk away, and I know they are thinking, "Poor guy, there is not much going on there."  But I say, "I will glory IN MY REDEEMER."  My eye has seen Him and beheld something of Him and I can look upon nothing else.  I long to put Him on display and help others meet with Him too, even if for now they don't believe He is as good as I have come to realize.  

So I'll continue to meet Jesus.  My grief is not over who doesn't show up.  Really it isn't.  Because even when a lot of people show up, they don't necessarily focus on Jesus.  My grief is that we don't all (especially me), regularly, meet with Jesus and fall more in love with Him.  That is the journey I am on...even if nobody believes me.